3.04.2005
online courtesy
I was just IM'ed by someone I don't know. This happens a lot - it's kind of the price I pay for having given my students my IM address as I left the school. It was, I often tell people, another way to keep in touch with students about whom I care very deeply and for whom I had and continue to have a lot of affection. I really do miss my students. I said exactly as much today in a conversation about teaching, and how much I learned while teaching, how much fun it was, and really, how much I miss it.
So when I was IM'ed, which doesn't happen a lot anymore, I'm kind of sad to say, I wanted to know who it was. I just ask - usually the person tells me who it is, we have a short conversation, no big deal. I'm always happy to have a conversation with a former student, acquaintance, even old colleagues on the faculty. There are a few people who turn up, want to chat, and the moment I ask who they are, they bolt. They disappear offline, they don't answer the question, whatever. It's disappointing, sometimes, but it's hardly new. This one tried to debate why he needed to tell me who he is. I say "he" and I'm not sure it's a "he", but the masculine pronoun is handy, and besides, I think the girls from the P. school are by and large nicer than this person and have more respect for people.
Seriously, this was part of the chat transcript: (my answers are indented with >>)
>>might I inquire as to with whom I am speaking?
you might, and you might not
>>I mean, without you disappearing offline or something. It's just common
>>courtesy.
common to whom?
>>look, are you going to answer the question or not?
and you, mine?
>>after you.
...no thanks
This person then debated me on who sets "common courtesy" and whether, if he didn't agree with the consensus that people should know who they're talking to, then he didn't have to follow that dictum. I can sort of respect that, except that if he doesn't introduce himself, we're done talking. And I said as much.
The final bit of the chat transcript went like this: All punctuation mistakes are as they were typed online.
>>but I won't speak more with someone I don't know. Thank you for your
>>comments, but until I know who you are, I am not comfortable conversing.
personally, i do not care weather or not i knowwhy are you not cofortable?
how would knowin my identity change that>
online convorsation is anonymous, is it not?
well, i can see you know not the answers to my questions
tool
That was my last chat entry. The rest of it is this guy. Now, online "convorsation" can be anonymous if both parties agree, but if one party does not, then forget it. Secondly, this guy knows who I am, and I don't know who he is. Probably not a good thing. Finally, and this is why I think that a) this is a teenage kid and b) it's a boy, when the rest of the conversation goes south, he called me a tool. Now, I'm not offended by it, I'm amused. By most definitions, I'm pretty darn far away from being a tool. But that's not important. I think it's just rude and obnoxious and silly. And if he is a student at the P. school, then he should be ashamed that he is behaving as such online. Also, he might just possibly rethink calling a former faculty member a tool.
So when I was IM'ed, which doesn't happen a lot anymore, I'm kind of sad to say, I wanted to know who it was. I just ask - usually the person tells me who it is, we have a short conversation, no big deal. I'm always happy to have a conversation with a former student, acquaintance, even old colleagues on the faculty. There are a few people who turn up, want to chat, and the moment I ask who they are, they bolt. They disappear offline, they don't answer the question, whatever. It's disappointing, sometimes, but it's hardly new. This one tried to debate why he needed to tell me who he is. I say "he" and I'm not sure it's a "he", but the masculine pronoun is handy, and besides, I think the girls from the P. school are by and large nicer than this person and have more respect for people.
Seriously, this was part of the chat transcript: (my answers are indented with >>)
>>might I inquire as to with whom I am speaking?
you might, and you might not
>>I mean, without you disappearing offline or something. It's just common
>>courtesy.
common to whom?
>>look, are you going to answer the question or not?
and you, mine?
>>after you.
...no thanks
This person then debated me on who sets "common courtesy" and whether, if he didn't agree with the consensus that people should know who they're talking to, then he didn't have to follow that dictum. I can sort of respect that, except that if he doesn't introduce himself, we're done talking. And I said as much.
The final bit of the chat transcript went like this: All punctuation mistakes are as they were typed online.
>>but I won't speak more with someone I don't know. Thank you for your
>>comments, but until I know who you are, I am not comfortable conversing.
personally, i do not care weather or not i knowwhy are you not cofortable?
how would knowin my identity change that>
online convorsation is anonymous, is it not?
well, i can see you know not the answers to my questions
tool
That was my last chat entry. The rest of it is this guy. Now, online "convorsation" can be anonymous if both parties agree, but if one party does not, then forget it. Secondly, this guy knows who I am, and I don't know who he is. Probably not a good thing. Finally, and this is why I think that a) this is a teenage kid and b) it's a boy, when the rest of the conversation goes south, he called me a tool. Now, I'm not offended by it, I'm amused. By most definitions, I'm pretty darn far away from being a tool. But that's not important. I think it's just rude and obnoxious and silly. And if he is a student at the P. school, then he should be ashamed that he is behaving as such online. Also, he might just possibly rethink calling a former faculty member a tool.
