7.12.2004
reality tv
First and foremost, a hearty Happy Birthday to my younger brother Andrew, who is 23, and will be heading to Robert Wood Johnson Medical School next month. I hope he finds it to his liking; he's much smarter than I am.
So I've been watching Airline on A&E, which is addictive simply because I've been flying so much in the past two weeks, but also because it's horrible. Usually, I side with the staff: they're overworked, underpaid, every cliche about the "working man" or "working woman" in America. They deal with gruesomely horrible people all day long (myself included) and what do they get? The chance to do it all tomorrow.
In preparation for my upcoming UK adventure, I've even been watching Airline UK, which is even funnier, because the accents are different than ours are. And that's funny. Plus, the storylines involve international travel, smaller airports with which I am less likely to be acquainted (or in which I am likely to be photographed) and, in one episode this morning, silly French people.
But tonight's episode was scary. First off, a sad-looking Canadian exchange student was headed to Scotland with a quartet of live lobsters for his host family. This sad-looking Canadian became positively unravelled when he found that "live" animals are not allowed on EasyJet. The following is a running commentary.
Stupid comment #1: Student: "but they're not really alive"
yes they are. dead lobsters are rotten lobsters. you don't show up to a host family's house with dead crustacea.
Stupid comment #2: Check-In Manager: "of course they're alive, they've got the little rubber-bandie things on them"
right. if that were the only criteria for alive, I'd never leave home without my little rubber-bandie things.
This is where things go from scary to sad-scary. This Canadian is forced to leave his little lobsters in the airport with the check-in manager who, when out of range of their previous owner, but still on camera, shouts "dinner!" First you steal prized lobsters, then you have the gall to rejoice. This is the sad part. Now the scary:
Scary comment #1: Office girl: "that's cruel - can't we release them in a pond or something?"
right. shut up.
Scary comment #2: Different office girl: "Ooh, I love lobsters! Wait, you mean, we'd have to cook them?"
not so scary on its own, just that these women have NO idea what to do with a lobster.
Scary comment #3: Check-In Manager: "I had no idea what they'd look like! I was thinking they'd try to pinch me and grab me by the wrists when I opened their box!"
She's thinking of what happens when you lay flowers down on top of a grave in horror movies...
And then back to sad: Canadian Student: "Well, someone who works for EasyJet is going to be eating well tonight..."
If this is any indication of the people I have to dupe to get good grades in England, I've got no more worries...
Just, for the record, the lobsters are kept alive with a combination of dry ice, which keeps them cold, and Carbon Dioxide, which keeps them knocked out. And no, they don't scream when you cook them. That's just the pressure equalizing as the lobster boils to death inside its shell. For a fun book, check out "The Secret Lives of Lobsters." I don't know who wrote it, but I heard about it on NPR. Sounds like great summer reading.
So I've been watching Airline on A&E, which is addictive simply because I've been flying so much in the past two weeks, but also because it's horrible. Usually, I side with the staff: they're overworked, underpaid, every cliche about the "working man" or "working woman" in America. They deal with gruesomely horrible people all day long (myself included) and what do they get? The chance to do it all tomorrow.
In preparation for my upcoming UK adventure, I've even been watching Airline UK, which is even funnier, because the accents are different than ours are. And that's funny. Plus, the storylines involve international travel, smaller airports with which I am less likely to be acquainted (or in which I am likely to be photographed) and, in one episode this morning, silly French people.
But tonight's episode was scary. First off, a sad-looking Canadian exchange student was headed to Scotland with a quartet of live lobsters for his host family. This sad-looking Canadian became positively unravelled when he found that "live" animals are not allowed on EasyJet. The following is a running commentary.
Stupid comment #1: Student: "but they're not really alive"
yes they are. dead lobsters are rotten lobsters. you don't show up to a host family's house with dead crustacea.
Stupid comment #2: Check-In Manager: "of course they're alive, they've got the little rubber-bandie things on them"
right. if that were the only criteria for alive, I'd never leave home without my little rubber-bandie things.
This is where things go from scary to sad-scary. This Canadian is forced to leave his little lobsters in the airport with the check-in manager who, when out of range of their previous owner, but still on camera, shouts "dinner!" First you steal prized lobsters, then you have the gall to rejoice. This is the sad part. Now the scary:
Scary comment #1: Office girl: "that's cruel - can't we release them in a pond or something?"
right. shut up.
Scary comment #2: Different office girl: "Ooh, I love lobsters! Wait, you mean, we'd have to cook them?"
not so scary on its own, just that these women have NO idea what to do with a lobster.
Scary comment #3: Check-In Manager: "I had no idea what they'd look like! I was thinking they'd try to pinch me and grab me by the wrists when I opened their box!"
She's thinking of what happens when you lay flowers down on top of a grave in horror movies...
And then back to sad: Canadian Student: "Well, someone who works for EasyJet is going to be eating well tonight..."
If this is any indication of the people I have to dupe to get good grades in England, I've got no more worries...
Just, for the record, the lobsters are kept alive with a combination of dry ice, which keeps them cold, and Carbon Dioxide, which keeps them knocked out. And no, they don't scream when you cook them. That's just the pressure equalizing as the lobster boils to death inside its shell. For a fun book, check out "The Secret Lives of Lobsters." I don't know who wrote it, but I heard about it on NPR. Sounds like great summer reading.
