6.13.2004
it's useless, and expensive!
Seen on skymall:
The night-light patio umbrella: LEDs embedded inside the bottom of a patio umbrella are powered by bateries which charge when the umbrella is doing its job as an umbrella.
Solar LED lantern "illumninates with the flickering glow of realistic candlelight" but "without any concern about the danger of real fire." However, the fake candle still contains a wick, for no discernable purpose.
"Turn an ordinary flush handle into functional bathroom art." Behold, the chrome or gold plated dolphin sculpture, which can replace your front-mounted toilet flush handle. Because nothing says class like a gold-plated dolphin on your toilet.
An 8-foot "goal", complete with one 37" and one 24" giant basketball. "This set can be used indoors or out, or even at the office." What the hell kind of office would allow you to play basketball with a 37" ball? And can I get a job there?
The EPA Registered Insect Repellant Clothing, also with 30+ UV protection! At only $84 for a shirt, and $79 for pants, you can now stay insect-free for up to 25 washes - only $6.52 per washing.
And my favorite:
"Like a mood lamp, the Stock Orb glows different colors to indicate real-time changes in the Dow" Alternately a mood lamp for Wall Street dorks, or finally, something to tell those aging hippies at the commune why they won't be retiring from their day jobs anytime soon.
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An update on our Quiz Bowl performance: both our A and B teams were totally hosed today. We shake it off and attribute our losses to intense dislike by both other teams and moderators. We will attempt the crushing of them by us tomorrow, commencing at 9:45 AM.
The night-light patio umbrella: LEDs embedded inside the bottom of a patio umbrella are powered by bateries which charge when the umbrella is doing its job as an umbrella.
Solar LED lantern "illumninates with the flickering glow of realistic candlelight" but "without any concern about the danger of real fire." However, the fake candle still contains a wick, for no discernable purpose.
"Turn an ordinary flush handle into functional bathroom art." Behold, the chrome or gold plated dolphin sculpture, which can replace your front-mounted toilet flush handle. Because nothing says class like a gold-plated dolphin on your toilet.
An 8-foot "goal", complete with one 37" and one 24" giant basketball. "This set can be used indoors or out, or even at the office." What the hell kind of office would allow you to play basketball with a 37" ball? And can I get a job there?
The EPA Registered Insect Repellant Clothing, also with 30+ UV protection! At only $84 for a shirt, and $79 for pants, you can now stay insect-free for up to 25 washes - only $6.52 per washing.
And my favorite:
"Like a mood lamp, the Stock Orb glows different colors to indicate real-time changes in the Dow" Alternately a mood lamp for Wall Street dorks, or finally, something to tell those aging hippies at the commune why they won't be retiring from their day jobs anytime soon.
---
An update on our Quiz Bowl performance: both our A and B teams were totally hosed today. We shake it off and attribute our losses to intense dislike by both other teams and moderators. We will attempt the crushing of them by us tomorrow, commencing at 9:45 AM.
